The Holiday Runs

I found this picture I took back in 2009 and thought of you.  Merry Christmas!!!

The Saga Mafia's Summer Vacation

What's up Arizona?  How you likin' the rain girl?

That went thru my mind a million times on our trip to the Pacific Northwest.  Lizard Stew, Copa Shoe Girl and I escaped the sweltering heat of Phoenix and headed to Portland and Seattle with a little detour to, you guessed it, FORKS!

We touristed around Portland first.  Of course we visited Multnomah Falls.

Lil E loved it!

Lil JB....not so much.

WARNING!  Do not stay at the Red Lion Hotel in Portland located near the convention center (aka Murderville).  It's haunted!  FOR REALZ!  I was accosted while taking a shower.  (It's not what you think pervs!)  For some unknown reason, I was pushed out of the shower.  Literally PUSHED out of the shower.  I landed on my ass with a thud.  I was not drunk, I was not high, I was however, embarrassed because Lizard Stew and Copa Shoe Girl heard it asked if I was ok.  Next up in the bathroom was Lizard Stew, and when she was finished, she said something smacked her head into the wall while she was showering.  I don't know about you, but that's freaky........

....but I digress....

We also met up with Starlit Violets and Musing Bella and had some adult beverages with them at Kells.  They are now honorary members of The Saga Mafia.  Not that that really comes with any benefits other than our seal of approval. 

Starlit Violets, mmMoxie, Musing Bella, Lizard Stew, Copa Shoe Girl
XOXOXOXO!

We also scooted up to Seattle and did all the Seattley things to do in Seattle like The Space Needle, the monorail, the underground tour and a little afternoon delight with the Freemont Troll.  (He's very cheeky)

But, on our way to Seattle we spent one glorious night and two glorious days in the Mecca of the Twidom, FORKS!

I must say, driving from Portland to Forks was BEAUTIFUL.  The Olympic Peninsula was amazeballs. Coming from the desert of Phoenix, the lushness and the colors of the forest were breathtaking.  We're used to scrubby bushes, rocks, dirt and cactus not green, green, green and green.  We played the soundtrack to Twilight as we approached town.  I felt all school girly and Bellaish.  We even saw a deer, but no vampires were chasing it.

Phoenix.  Scrub, rocks, dirt, cactus.

Forks.  Green, green, green, green.

We didn't pay for the Twilight bus tour.  Lizard Stew had it all worked out.  She knew all of the spots to hit, and it didn't hurt that all of the sights coincided with The Official Twilight Geocache. (Lizard Stew and Copa Shoe Girl LOVE to geocache).  She even had notecards prewritten to give us all of the facts at each sight.  

It's official.

La Push was on the tour route, so you know we hit up First Beach.  It's like La Push and it was like BEAUTIFUL. We had blue skies just about every day of our entire trip.  I think the Cullin's were a little off about it being the rainiest place in the continental United States.

AHH!  Where's Jacob when you need him?

There isn't much to do in Forks at night.  So we drank a bottle of wine and wrote a dirty limerick scavenger hunt (naturally).  We were hoping Musing Bella would be able to get room 112 at The Forks Motel, and the crafty little cutie did!  

There are several clues hidden around the room.  Hopefully the cleaning lady didn't find any of them.  She'd be like "WTF?"

Anyway.....at the end of the hunt there is a priceless memento from The Saga Mafia for you to cherish FOREVER!

Ok Musing Bella, here is your first clue:

"Mirror, mirror on the wall.  Room 112 contains it all."

Is this the Forks Motel or the Bates Motel?  Kinda creepy looking.

They give you ACTUAL keys.

If you get stuck, reference the "DO NOT OPEN" email I'm sending to you.  It contains the rest of the clues with *hints*.  You should probably be drunk while you're searching too.  I have a feeling it was A LOT funnier while were were writing it.

Our Tour de Forks was a total WIN.  I can't wait to hear all of the stories from the Twitards and their upcoming trip.

Stay classy Forks!

(despite the Twitard invasion)

Damn you Musing Bella!

Musing Bella from Cheaper Than Therapy tagged me to answer some deeply probing questions, so now I have to actually post something new at Twilight Sagapalooza.  *sigh* it was a nice long nap, but here goes...

1) What was your favorite subject in school, and why?

I listened to The Smiths, wore all black and practiced looking morose.  I had no favorite subjects.

2) Do you have any daily rituals, and what are they?

I poop almost every day, unless I consume a lot of cheese.

3) Do you prefer beer, wine, or hard alcohol (or none of the above)?

Beer is gross and gives me the lava.  I'm trying to acquire a taste for wine.  I enjoy vodka mixed with Diet Coke.

4) What is the very first thing you would do if you won a million dollars?

I'd build a chocolate house.

5) If you could live one fan fic story (as any character), what would it be?

Laura Ingalls Wilder; Diary of a Dominatrix 

6) What is something you're looking forward to in the next six months?

Little people.

7) Have you ever slapped someone for real? And if so, why?

I slapped my best friend Crystal in sixth grade for being a twat.  She cried and went home.

I slapped my exboyfriend (who was my boyfriend at the time) for being a twat.  He didn't cry or go home.

I slapped my exhusband (who was my husband at the time) for cheating on me.  He didn't cry until he had to pay child support.

8) What is your favorite Halloween candy? 


Bit-O-Honey baby!  It's the only time of year I get them.  (Don't Google Bit-O-Honey.....you'll get strippers)

I'm not going to tag anyone else because I think everyone I know has already been tagged, not to mention I have no clever questions to ask.

Renee is gonna get you

ACK!  Um. Hey Renee.  You startled me.

Uh...what's up?

Sure.  They've been very welcoming.  Are you feeling ok?

Yeah........um, could you step back a little.  You're getting kinda close.

Hey now, back off Renee.  You're making me nervous. 

WTF?  Who said anything about Jacksonville?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Joan Jett School of Acting

I saw The Runaways last night.

I now understand the method of acting Kristen Stewart used in the Twilight movies.  She was playing Joan Jett playing Bella Swan.  Now it all makes sense!

*****************************

The most entertaining part of the movie:

......and it wasn't even in the movie.

Attack of the Killer Vamsters!

Mrs. P from the blog TwiBite wrote a post at her non-Twilight blog (called Walk With Mrs. P) today about how her daughter presented her with a very well written and surprisingly formal letter explaining why (despite the unfortunate demise of her previous two) she should be allowed to have a pet hamster.  Click here to read it.  It is HILARIOUS.

Now I have had my own experiences with hamsters and because of that I have drilled it into my son's head that he will never EVER have a pet hamster (or reptile or bird).  We had a cat named Hog who died and we now have a repugnant and vile smelling dog named Mingus.  Anyway, back to the hamster.  My sister and I had two hamsters whom I hated.  They smelled and ate their poop and they were biters.  Yes BITERS.  It was a happy happy day at Moxie's childhood home when the last one finally died.  I never asked for another rodent from my parents again.

Mrs. P has experienced the joy of being a hamster owner in the past so I know whatever decision she makes regarding her daughter's request will be an informed one, but I just couldn't help myself and HAD to warn her of the negative side to rodent pets.  I found a few pictures that illustrated my fears and tweeted them to her today.  I thought it was funny and decided to post them here for everyone else to enjoy.

They hog the computer and drink all the Red Bull.  

Although it is very rare, some hamsters are indeed VAMSTERS!

If housed near the microwave they become HUGE!

They're not all cute.

Keep us posted Mrs. P.  I'm dying to find out if you give your daughter the hamster green light.  Oh, and if you do decide to go for it, take some pictures to prove how cute the Honey Bear hamster really is. 

A busy Friday for Moxie

I'm hosting Drunk Mad Libs tonight over at www.drunkmadlibs.blogspot.com so come play with me at 6:30 Pacific Time.

I also had the honor and the privilege of selecting the Friday Fun Five questions at Twi-Sted Edbrella so you should stop by.  If you don't, you're a complete loser. http://edbrella.blogspot.com/2010/07/friday-fun-five-with-moxie-somehow.html?zx=8b9de942b5dcabd9

Ok. One last thing.  I have a confession to make.  I've been cheating on Twilight SagaPalooza.  Phew *wipes brow* finally got that off my chest.   Yep, I started another blog.  A blog that has nothing to do with Twilight.  A blog that is ten times dumber and ten times more random than this one, which has been completely liberating.  It's about how out of place and totally useless I am as a suburban housewife.  So if you're interested (and PLEASE don't feel obligated), visit www.cul-de-sac-ed.blogspot.com and tell me what you think.  

Moxie's Eclipse Review

It was better than New Moon

Please Pass the Enthusiasm

I like everyone else's blog better than mine.  I don't have much to say these days, but you guys do and you crack me up.  I'm not going post as much anymore....only when something truly rouses an emotional reaction in me.   I'm going to stick with posting smartass comments on your posts.

Still, I cannot find it in my heart to let go of Twilight SagaPalooza so I've decided that I need to look at the positive side of things instead of the negative.  It is a stretch for me, being the consummate pessimist, but I'm going to try. These are some things I'm looking forward to in the near future that are keeping the Twilight SagaPalooza dream alive:

Eclipse:  The Saga Mafia is going to see the movie on July 4th at 10 am.  I know....wild and crazy plans huh?  Well, none of us like crowds or teenagers and we ALL love breakfast.  There is a distinct possibility that I am more excited about eating at Cracker Barrel before the movie than the actual movie.  I will be posting the details.  Count on it.

"Excuse me waitress.  Can I substitute extra bacon for the orange slice?" 

Forks:  The Saga Mafia is going to the Pacific Northwest in the summer of 2011.   We'll be visiting Seattle and Portland with a little side trip to Forks.  Lizardstew and I have been planning this trip for a long time, even before I heard about the Twitarded "FFFOOORRRKKKSSS" extravaganza.   I'm so psyched to go with my girls because frankly, the Twitarded trip would scare the shit out of me.  I know....I have issues.  Anyway, The Saga Mafia always has such a great time together getting totally hammered and acting like imbeciles, but I'm sure no one in Forks will notice our shenanigans, having previously lived through the Twitarded invasion.  I don't think anything will phase the fine people of Forks after that.  Expect an extensive post detailing our trip.

Breaking Dawn (Part 1 & 2):  I am quite positive I will have A LOT to say about that.

Ok.  So Twilight SagaPalooza will probably be around until 2012, but I don't plan on posting unless something really pisses me off or makes me laugh or confuses me or makes me want to jump RPatz bones.  I think the rest of the Saga Mafia feels the same way.  We all still love Twilight but these days....we're just sorta.....meh.

Cop a Feel and Play DML

Are you ready to get drunk and do something you might regret?  

Meet me at http://drunkmadlibs.blogspot.com/ tonight at 6:30 Pacific 8:30 Central 9:30 Eastern time to play Drunk Mad Libs.

You just might get felt up by a vampire.

Boobies!

Is Ryan Seacrest to cool for Eclipse?

So as you all may know, E! Online is streaming the LA Eclipse premiere on Thursday night.

The only burning question that I have is: Will Seacrest be there? I can't wait to see her*! Or will she be too cool to show?

*her= I must honor my idol, Miss Kathy Griffin*

"Oh CC, I have loved RPatz since I was in 8th grade"- Seacrest

I will be watching. This guy? Who knows....

"I am too cool for anything, but my Honda"- Douchebag

Come back Mox! We miss you :(

Its been 4 days and I can't go on... I need my Mox!

Many of you may already know. Mox is at the Ranch this week and it out of touch with the Mafia thanks to her lame parents. She will return this weekend and I for one cannot wait!

Saga nation cannot wait until Mox comes back, we need her sarcasm! CC and other Mafia members just can't do what she does.

We're not worthy!

Vampires vs. Werewolves reflected in hair and abs?

RPatz on TLau:

"I want to have better hair than him. I want to have a better six-pack," the "Eclipse" star (out June 30) joked to Jenna Bush Hager on the TODAY show Monday. "No, he's great. I've been close with him throughout the whole series."

So saga nation- does RPatz beat out TLau on abs? hair? or both?

Drunk Mad Libs - Tag, Starlit Violets is it!

If you haven't heard DML has it's own website you've either been living under a rock or you've been in Hawaii for a week (LizardStew and Copa Shoe Girl).

Tonight is Starlit Violets debut as Drunk Mad Libs host.  Please go easy on her.  

Now that I have help I don't want your drunk asses scaring them off.

Join the crew at 6:30 Pacific 8:30 Central 9:30 Eastern time HERE! 

http://drunkmadlibs.blogspot.com/

Read the directions because Starlit Violets has a theme!

Question this, biotch!

According to urban dictionary a biotch is defined as:

1. (noun) a woman of unsavory character traits pertaining to negative or even beligerant attitude (ie. a pain in the ass or a moody bitch) 2. (noun) a man who's abilities/character/mindset/emotional responses is atypical of that which is generally associated with being a man (ie. acting like a girl, wimp or homosexual) 3. (noun) a non-offensive colloquialism meant to reference to a girl or a woman with whom the speaker is associated in some way Alternate spellings: beyatch biyatch beyotch biyotch Synonyms: biznatch bleyatch bitch pussy wimp boo shorty

I run with a bunch of biotches according to Demonpurr's momma. Many of the biotches are Mafia members. And if I must say so myself, we are a bunch of biznatchs, but are one hell of a good time (can I direct you towards the post "Ms. P at the Ranch"?).

According to this people.com article, you can ask Stewy, who I would not consider a biotch (not cool enough), a question. Oh man, here is what I would ask:

(1) Do you realize people are offended when others refer to you as an "actress"? (Let's face it, she is not getting an Oscar anytime soon people)

(2) Do you really think that your hair looks good? (me-hell no!)

(3) Come on, you really want us to believe that you are "sorry" for the rape comment in referring to red carpet appearances? (don't buy it- this was her publicist all the way)

(4) Do you smoke weed because it is cool or do you need to keep up your perceived "baby goth" image? (I think that she needs it to function, much like CC's younger brother)

(5) Don't you know that no one does "cold and dead inside" like MMoxie? (ummmm...this is obviously a yes)

(6) Can I punch you in the face? (pleeeeeze? Pretty please?)

What questions would you ask Stewy?

They Do Look Rather Juicy

"Save some for me."

Yep - Still Hot

GQ out takes.  WOW!

You can thank me after you've had a moment to collect yourself.

Found um at Twilog

Private Eyes or Bad Ass Cops?

I think MTV channeled some old school Hall & Oates for their Bad Ass Cops "joke" (I think it was supposed to be funny) on the Movie Awards last night.

Seriously.....TLau looks EXACTLY like John Oates with the mustache.